motivated

Following the last few posts about attitudes and actions, Paul finally gets to the why. He is attempting to inspire and challenge Timothy. The verb he uses is "charge". He is encouraging him to do what he truly has no alternative but to do. It is similar to a military speech, like in We Were Soldiers. They're soldiers, they have no choice, they must fight, but there commander gives them a rousing challenge anyway, attempting to inspire them to not just do what they must, but to do it with excellence. Motivation. That is what is going on here at the end of the book of 1 Timothy. But what is the motivation that Paul attempts to use to charge Timothy?

"13 I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession,14 to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ,15 which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords,16 who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen."

That's it. Think about who you work for. Stand in awe of your commander. Do it because of how awesome and amazing God is. No promises of reward (although there are in fact rewards) and no threats either (although there are dire consequences for not living this way). No, the motivation comes from the sheer magnitude of the power and PRESENCE of God. I KNOW all these things about God. Sometimes I feel like was born knowing these things. But I guess I don't want to answer the question of how often I think about them. I really don't want to answer the question about whether this knowledge I have (of God as Kings of Kings and Lord of Lords and the only Sovereign and as he who who dwells in unapproachable light) actually motivates me to "keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach". For that matter when is the last time I looked forward with expectation, excitement or even just simple contemplation to the "appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ"?

I've been reading and posting on 1 Timothy since early May. To put that in perspective when I started reading this I was still employed as a youth pastor and still in a heavily spiritual environment where I was being pushed constantly and where I was in the Bible every day. I lived in a house with my family, I had a regular paycheck, and I had a comfortable routine that I had been in for years. In the time since then everything has changed. I live with my parents, I have no job, I have lost most of my spiritual support other than my wife of course, my routine is long gone, and I find myself struggling to read my Bible nearly as much without distraction. It is amazing how easy it was to spend hours in the word when I had a private office to do so in. Also in the time since then I have written 36 posts on things that I discovered and learned in the book of 1 Timothy. 36! 36 lessons. 36 truths that should impact me. 36 ways to grow. 36 applications. I've called myself to change in many many ways based on what I've read, and yet until today I don't what to say that my motivation for all that was. I know now. The awesomeness of the God who has changed not at all since the beginning of time and loves me dearly must be that motivation. Everything for me is totally different now. Nothing is for him. But that should have been my motivation all along. That should be my anchor.

I want to launch here into so great and majestic tribute to the magnitude of God. But I just can't. I feel like a hypocrite cheeseball just trying to think of what to write. Sometimes I hate that fact that I grew up submerged in the spiritual bathtub of churchiness. I have heard so many people wax eloquent on the person and wonder of God that it leaves such language feeling empty of meaning. Tired words that can carry no more weight. An old knick knack. It is annoying to feel that way. I am spiritually numb in a lot of ways. Yet this is no excuse.  I must view God this way regardless of my past experiences, God is bigger than them. I think the key is that I must view him this way not with my eyes or my mind, but with my heart and soul. If I find it hard to write this here without feeling cliche, then I must write these ideas not on a random website, but on my relationship with the one who they are about. God doesn't read my blog, he looks on my heart. Only what is written there can bring him worship.