This could be a kind of short post. One never knows. I'm starting 2 Timothy today. Reading the background to the book tells me that Paul knows he's a dead man when he writes this. He's in prison, and it doesn't look good. Right off the bat, that gets me excited about this book. I like reality. Death row is reality. The opportunity to read inspired scripture from the pen of Paul in this state is awesome. This is part of what's sad about how we just read little snippets of the Bible without studying it. I bet for most of my life I had no idea of this. I skipped by some stuff that looks like I would just ramble about and found another really simple, yet profoundly stated truth: It's not about me.
"8 Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, nor of me his prisoner, but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God,9 who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began,10 and which now has been manifested through the appearing of our Savior Christ Jesus, who abolished death and brought life and immortality to light through the gospel,11 for which I was appointed a preacher and apostle and teacher,
I've always focused on the "not about our works" part of this passage and seen it as proof that works based faith is faulty. But this is about way more than works, this is about life. This about purpose. This is about EVERYTHING. Life-altering, self-killing faith stands on verses like these. Normal American crap Christianity can't handle this concept. It has swept this and other parts of the Gospel like it under the rug for decades. Worse though, many have talked about it, preached on it, mentioned it as normal, but not actually DONE it to the point where now it is normal to state that you hold a belief to be true and yet not have it affect you at all. You get to believe it (and claim it and go to heaven) but YOU still get to do whatever the heck you want somehow. And that's normal for us who were raised under it. No wonder the culture calls us hypocrites.
A simple look at the simple words of this simple introductory passage shows that if this is a "hidden truth" then it is we who have hidden it, because in truth it is clear as day from this passage. I have a "holy calling". Boom, right off the bat I know that can't be about me. It can't have anything to do with me or my plans. If it did, it wouldn't be holy. So from the very start, I crucify my individuality apart from Christ and all its fallen wants and plans. He gives us this calling ... "Because of his own purpose and grace". His grace shows that I don't deserve this calling. It can''t be treated as a bummer; some junk job that an ornery God forces me to perform. I get this calling by his grace. It is a great calling, a calling I would never be able to ascend to on my own merits. It is a privilege. So again, it cannot originate in any way with me. If it could, it would require no grace. This calling also comes to me for HIS purpose. HIS. I am crucified with Christ. My purposes ... gone. This not a sanitized version of my old self that he creates when I come to know him. This is not some behavioral code of ethics that I am to follow during my time on this earth. I will not be judged according to the way in which I lived on this earth as if it were no more than some fake world where God tests my morals to see if I am willing to obey him. I have a purpose to live out here ... and it is His. He planned the purpose, and then he called me to it. And I don't deserve it. And there is no choosing it. When he chose me, I chose it. It would be like a child deciding if they want to open their Christmas presents or not. Of course they do. But what if they had no idea what Christmas was? What if they had never met their parents? What if they didn't know their parents loved them at all? Would they go up to this strange tree and begin to rip apart the wrapped boxes under it with joy, or would they go to the kitchen and have some Cookie Crisp?
We don't know our God well. We don't believe that this life is best. To play an annoying facebook game: Truth is ... we think the presents suck. At best they're boring; they're downright undesireable. At worst they're the mean trick of a manipulative God trying to take our freedom and enslave to his whim. Who would want that? All this because we have believed the traditional generations old lie that you can call yourself a Christian but not know and desire your God deeply. How? How can I read the Bible and see passages like this, written by men in situations like this, and still think I can "follow" God that way? Paul was not that extraordinary. He was calling people to live the same way he did. What was his life like? He died for the purpose. It wasn't about him. From that moment on the road it never was. Here's some more of the passage:
"12 which is why I suffer as I do. But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me.13 Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.14 By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you."
That's all one really needs to read to understand the life of Paul, Timothy and basically all true followers in the early church (and now?). What did this awesome "holy calling" that Paul received by grace and which he viewed as an amazing privilege bring him? SUFFERING. And he wasn't just ok with that. It was his calling. He wasn't choosing between it and some other version. That was simply all it meant to him to follow Jesus. He would die and that was ok because that had no impact on him or on the reality of the goodness of God. Death and suffering weren't unimportant, or meaningless, but they were powerless. That is the difference. Paul never said he didn't suffer. But he does make it clear that his suffering never slowed him one bit. If anything it motivated him. How insane to think that I sit here and think about which parts of my life and my passion that I am willing to give to God. Paul joyously accepted the gracious gift of God... and the suffering that naturally came with it. It was his calling. Period. Is it mine?
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